A bully can only affect your happiness if you allow him/her too. What is a bully? It is someone who is projecting their frustrations with life or a situation onto a victim, you. It could be they are miserable in life. Perhaps they are just having a bad day. Sadly, we all are bullies to someone at some point in our life. Our happiness greatly dampens whenever a bully comes around. They can seem to appear out of nowhere. And, there are numerous answers for how we are to deal with each one.
The School Yard Bully. You just have to stay away. Sorry, but this person isn’t going to get better. They are miserable. They are jealous. They will sneak around your home and destroy things they want just because you have it and they want it. They make you the butt of all jokes. Their only conversations are about negative things. Yuck!
The Righteous Bully. This individual believes they are entitled to their feelings. When you upset this person, they will ignore you. They will never talk to you to resolve the situation. They don’t care to because they believe they are above you. They walk with their nose up in the air and avoid all interactions with you. Don’t worry this person will never get over it. You are forever off their invite list because they feel more powerful this way. Ewe!
The Jealous Bully. This person doesn’t want to see you happy because they aren’t happy. They probably have been around you for a very long time, secretly cutting you down every step of the way. They are more like snakes in the grass. They seek opportunities to cut you down every step of the way, but they don’t ever want to take ownership of their roles in your misery. They are the people who will try to feed lies to close friends and partners in hopes to see you alone.
The Lying Bully. This person can never tell the truth. There are many deep dark secrets in this person’s life. They only deal in half truths. Each time you interact you know they are lying more than telling you the truth. You can’t help but leave them feeling frustrated. All you want is for them to be honest. But, you just get lies.
The Surface Bully. This individual only comes around when they have a need for you. They are the greatest friend at that time. They respond to your texts and make future plans for you. Yet, whenever the need is gone, they go back to ignoring your texts and are too busy for plans. It would seem like you are in a yo-yo relationship with them. Up, down, up, down, no more.
The Complaining Bully. They never have anything good to say in life. When everyone is having fun, they are not. They are like sloths on a good night out. The more you try to help them have fun, the further back they fall. This typically results from years of teaching. They have gotten attention from someone by being negative. Therefore, their whole life has become one big negative sob story.
The competitive bully. This person can’t allow you to bet them. They have to be better than you. They will get a head of you at all cost. Your home will not be more expensive than theirs. Your car will not be better than theirs. They are the true definition of ‘keeping up with the Jones’. It can make you sick if you are exposed to it too long.
Each person in our life can become a bully towards our happiness at the drop of a dime. It is up to us to limit our exposure to each one as they present themselves. There is a difference from being there in support of a person who comes to experience a negative ordeal or a bad day. This is not the same as a bully. A bully is more often than not in a place of negativity. They are the people who constantly bring you down. They hurt you more than help you. For these people, it is best to stay away from them.
You have to make the decision to focus on yourself. Your happiness is worth more than theirs. You have to do what is best for you. If someone is a bully, you have to make the decision to limit the interaction. You can have a talk with them. You can put any plans on them to reach out to you. You can ignore them.
No human wants conflict. Closing chapters makes it really easy for people to get the message. If someone isn’t bringing you happiness, you need to figure out what would bring you happiness with them. If they value you, they will work on it with you. If not, then, you have to value you.
Life doesn’t fix itself. Happiness won’t find you if you are being smothered by Bullies.